Music snob, improv comedienne, food porn addict, Amazonian hashtag warrior princess. 🎷
Burbs o' brotherly love
12,303 Tweets 1,347 Followers 1,363 Followings 8,297 Likes
The Spanish Inquisition #UnpopularPromThemes
You’re a loud chewer. #WhyYouCantSitWithUsAtLunch
@DamnUWillShortz Completely agree!
Eating brunch in town watching the many walks of shame parade by. #SignsYoureInMyHometown @WCUofPA https://t.co/b7KCivcMyc
The concept of world peace. #BatshitCrazyIn5Words
The ability to fall asleep, followed by 8 hours of uninterrupted, restful sleep. Wait ... maybe that could be my… https://t.co/DcD1224UYD
Own a cat who will cuddle with me when *I* want him to. #RandomLifeGoals
I’m so over salted caramel (unless it’s @eclat caramels).
Hey @realScottWagner and @MangoforPA, all this mudslinging is making @GovernorTomWolf look REAL GOOD. Want me to e… https://t.co/OJFfwaO9uJ
Was Tattoo’s fantasy to get inked all over? #StupidQuestionsAboutTVShows https://t.co/x2sENugPod
#INeedAHighFiveFor cleaning the house for the cleaning lady.
#SocialMediaFreaksMeOutWhen my husband and I have a discussion about bidets, then a bidet ad shows up on his FB newsfeed. #ASLFTW
Come on, Winnie, Mama needs to drive out some demons ... #ThingsISayToMyCar
@zvjezdanpatz One of the perks of working from home ... personal tiny desk concerts from local musician friends every Friday!
@zvjezdanpatz Live from the cube farm!
#IdLikeToBeRichEnoughTo persuade @ElvisCostello to have a beer with me. I'd buy.
#IdLikeToBeRichEnoughTo buy up all the green space I can to keep America (or at least the part that I live in) beautiful.
#IAlwaysMakeTimeFor tha FUNK! https://t.co/xhIg5mtI0u
Now I'm fat freeeeeee falling ... #LowCalorieLyrics
Spanx God I'm a Country Boy #UnderwearRock
What is Hipster? #UnderwearRock
@rexparker 59D. Blehhhhh.
Take Me Out of the Ballgame #ChangeOneSongLetter
The smell of baking bread is like a hug for your nose.
Being angry at everything happening in the world is EXHAUSTING.