@NewsThump

NewsThump

Tweets by @newsthump

Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.

London

16,975 Tweets 45,215 Followers 3,688 Followings 199 Likes

Loading...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

Should you take your shirt off in the sunshine? Take our interactive test to find out! https://t.co/j46Yoqg3AG https://t.co/kIi5UDQKDB

Should you take your shirt off in the su...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! HR confirm impending nuclear armageddon is not a valid excuse for spending afternoon in sunny pub garden… https://t.co/LJJTBiRD6P

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Gooners already deciding who to blame for next season’s poor performance https://t.co/e7iVG2vLXg https://t.co/UnPlrT3Z9y

NEWS! Gooners already deciding who to bl...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Shock as May and Johnson ‘dream team’ fails to generate good will among Commonwealth leaders… https://t.co/oGpnNNK7Fv

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Arsene Wenger to leave Arsenal following 3,785th last straw https://t.co/cCnuVuaKVm https://t.co/T44GZVZ3tM

NEWS! Arsene Wenger to leave Arsenal fol...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Brexiter forgets what he’s supposed to be furious about today https://t.co/6HrDfpREaW https://t.co/RaY6E3TcwA

NEWS! Brexiter forgets what he’s suppose...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Owners warned not to leave goths in a locked car during hot weather https://t.co/fLeJMcWjky https://t.co/PA3QcK9MyN

NEWS! Owners warned not to leave goths i...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! If an EU passport is so important you should have chosen to have Nigel Farage as your Dad, Remoaners told… https://t.co/16RWe7N5a7

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Weather more likely to bring London to a standstill than terrorists, reports confirm https://t.co/aMMFhfaV43 https://t.co/ZC3KtgGO64

NEWS! Weather more likely to bring Londo...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Local radio DJs already running short of hot weather songs https://t.co/1Ckxji98QL https://t.co/ECr64q6q6G

NEWS! Local radio DJs already running sh...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Dog rescued from hot car, car rightly set on fire https://t.co/4sTrJ2cfJD https://t.co/8NWBZkJlcs

NEWS! Dog rescued from hot car, car righ...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Britons get the big fan out https://t.co/wCvWVV0hEe https://t.co/1scpuP23Cn

NEWS! Britons get the big fan out https:...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! “Wenger Out” sign manufacturers facing mass redundancies https://t.co/hWkEatt5de https://t.co/J2H8OcTEbz

NEWS! “Wenger Out” sign manufacturers fa...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

QUIZ! Should I take off my shirt in public? Take the test to find out! https://t.co/VS8IN54IpJ https://t.co/FHbEHyxrFG

QUIZ! Should I take off my shirt in publ...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Tory MP lost his seat due to 10 retweets, insists government claiming Fake News didn’t affect Brexit referend… https://t.co/KNP4KD14P1

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Strange orange ball spotted in UK skies https://t.co/3OS5TJnN57 #WarmestDayOfTheYear https://t.co/UfPbMQnLIb

NEWS! Strange orange ball spotted in UK...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Victoria’s Secret launches economy range entitled “Rutting Essentials” https://t.co/4YW2YLWVWq https://t.co/IV0uxk45jm

NEWS! Victoria’s Secret launches economy...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Men all over country walking tightrope between removing suit jackets and sweaty armpits… https://t.co/ic2Pjqgcb8

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Artist’s main creative output is anxiety https://t.co/0YCksmCKSG https://t.co/BSu7bSzybY

NEWS! Artist’s main creative output is a...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Man finally reaches his goal weight after travelling six stops on Central Line https://t.co/h5v10rmgnp https://t.co/63rMIaPqvy

NEWS! Man finally reaches his goal weigh...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Gingers advised to not even bother today https://t.co/8P42a0Cd87 https://t.co/Zgnvr3sTXp

NEWS! Gingers advised to not even bother...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Ocado adds ‘stockpile’ to its quantity options https://t.co/B4bYwsPbtm https://t.co/Nd8GBK08fa

NEWS! Ocado adds ‘stockpile’ to its quan...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Meanwhile: Handsome, chiselled, soulful man will be keeping his t-shirt ON today https://t.co/0CiG4v2SdL https://t.co/c4Tm7PkgPm

NEWS! Meanwhile: Handsome, chiselled, so...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

This is a funny site that regularly has us thinking “I wish we’d thought of that”... you should follow... https://t.co/gaYp1tzk4R

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

I'm an outdoors guy - take me to the nearest beer garden... GET IT HERE >>> https://t.co/xMPPJZ3W60 https://t.co/ptSHMWRTZT

I'm an outdoors guy - take me to the nea...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! UK braced for first day of over-wrapped pensioners whinging that it’s too hot https://t.co/mILcJipPg4 https://t.co/Qfr50P7HUd

NEWS! UK braced for first day of over-wr...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Brexiter who lauded post-Brexit prospects for international trade furious to see it in action with De La Rue… https://t.co/8OvBAgEnT2

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! “Now it’s too hot,” declares man who spent past 8 months complaining it was too cold https://t.co/W1Ppq7QldP https://t.co/KAOtP8E0gZ

NEWS! “Now it’s too hot,” declares man w...

@newsthump NewsThump @newsthump

NEWS! Discarded Morrissey albums ‘a greater environmental catastrophe’ than plastic bottles https://t.co/fVzxLMDaan https://t.co/SvQcqEGEMA

NEWS! Discarded Morrissey albums ‘a grea...

+ Loading...