Hortense on S2 of Another Period/S5-S7 of Wild 'N Out/Member of @lostmoonradio. I am terrified of technology. I think everything I don’t understand is a robot.
Los Angeles, CA
10,110 Tweets 8,874 Followers 1,720 Followings 27,232 Likes
Tonight Pierro frolicked in the park with a 10-month-old pug named Nikolai so don't TELL me you can't realize your dreams later in life.
i just purposely scrolled down on my facebook timeline to look at a picture of a friend's baby who the fuck am i anymore
If professional artists don't stop covering the Nationwide jingle, I think I may seriously lose my shit.
Also learned that, this whole time, Jasper's human thought that Pierro's name was "Fiyero," like from Wicked.
As a 100 lb. woman who lives alone in this building, I am SUPER relieved that the LAPD is so on top of the VERY CON… https://t.co/N5t77AJVv5
Holy shit; just got like 30 min of gossip from Jasper's human while I was walking Pierro. Apparently the cops have… https://t.co/aFPnZbmuBB
him rush camera! https://t.co/WY8ObsZq0j
Not of interest to me personally, but just as a PSA: there is a Hot Dad at the park right now.
it's been a whole week and i still don't get why they were calling each other by each other's names 😞
Different Cop is now chilling in an unmarked car right outside the garage. The plot just became EVEN MORE THICC!!!
UPDATE #2: Tonight there is a *different* cop stationed outside by the garage! THE PLOT THICKENS!!
I am seriously so fucking bummed about this. I've been looking forward to these for a week and a half 😢 Way to drop… https://t.co/p8KwzbQfoo
Wait what the fuck how did I miss the ceremony?!?!?!? I've been home literally all day?!?!? 😢😢😢 https://t.co/f6fpyoY1Qj
hello my name is pierro i am allowed one pair of shoes for when i sneak into the closet bc i have already destroyed… https://t.co/WJ3ElZP2Ry
Pretty cool that a neighbor in my hallway who I've never seen before just heard me tell Piero that he's "a jolly boy."
Sure; a disproportionate number of my friends are incredibly successful. But I just got an email from Rite Aid tell… https://t.co/GVvHa5VeqX
You guys, we finally made it - the Fake News Awards are TONIGHT!! Does anyone know what time the Fake Red Carpet co… https://t.co/3KJbeDcJgh
Anyone Younger Than Me Is Dumb And Anyone Older Than Me Is Lame: A Novel
I feel *so* sorry for straight women right now. Jesus fucking Christ. You very sincerely have my sympathy.
ugh being a person right now is fucking exhausting i'm so jealous of my dog