@Lauren Flans

Lauren Flans

Tweets by @laurenflans

Hortense on S2 of Another Period/S5-S7 of Wild 'N Out/Member of @lostmoonradio. I am terrified of technology. I think everything I don’t understand is a robot.

Los Angeles, CA

10,110 Tweets 8,874 Followers 1,720 Followings 27,232 Likes

Loading...

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Tonight Pierro frolicked in the park with a 10-month-old pug named Nikolai so don't TELL me you can't realize your dreams later in life.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

i just purposely scrolled down on my facebook timeline to look at a picture of a friend's baby who the fuck am i anymore

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Please enjoy this Pierro play session, set to the dulcet tones of @Neilyoung. https://t.co/MOIPI14bk2

Please enjoy this Pierro play session, s...

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@Ali_Davis If you have to ask, the answer is always "hubris."

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

If professional artists don't stop covering the Nationwide jingle, I think I may seriously lose my shit.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

helo https://t.co/Vp946r8oT2

helo https://t.co/Vp946r8oT2

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

#TBT to one of Jasper and Pierro's earliest meetings. I can't believe it's actually Thursday, too - WHAT ARE THE OD… https://t.co/4X3DGOnJxd

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Also learned that, this whole time, Jasper's human thought that Pierro's name was "Fiyero," like from Wicked.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

As a 100 lb. woman who lives alone in this building, I am SUPER relieved that the LAPD is so on top of the VERY CON… https://t.co/N5t77AJVv5

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Holy shit; just got like 30 min of gossip from Jasper's human while I was walking Pierro. Apparently the cops have… https://t.co/aFPnZbmuBB

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@bluepoet3 That is entirely up to them.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

him rush camera! https://t.co/WY8ObsZq0j

him rush camera! https://t.co/WY8ObsZq0j

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Not of interest to me personally, but just as a PSA: there is a Hot Dad at the park right now.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

it's been a whole week and i still don't get why they were calling each other by each other's names 😞

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@KellenCox If I get murdered, please see to it that this ENTIRE THREAD is published in lieu of an obituary.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Different Cop is now chilling in an unmarked car right outside the garage. The plot just became EVEN MORE THICC!!!

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

UPDATE #2: Tonight there is a *different* cop stationed outside by the garage! THE PLOT THICKENS!!

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

I am seriously so fucking bummed about this. I've been looking forward to these for a week and a half 😢 Way to drop… https://t.co/p8KwzbQfoo

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Wait what the fuck how did I miss the ceremony?!?!?!? I've been home literally all day?!?!? 😢😢😢 https://t.co/f6fpyoY1Qj

Wait what the fuck how did I miss the ce...

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

hello my name is pierro i am allowed one pair of shoes for when i sneak into the closet bc i have already destroyed… https://t.co/WJ3ElZP2Ry

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Pretty cool that a neighbor in my hallway who I've never seen before just heard me tell Piero that he's "a jolly boy."

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Sure; a disproportionate number of my friends are incredibly successful. But I just got an email from Rite Aid tell… https://t.co/GVvHa5VeqX

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@mleadman Oh my goodness, thank you!! Didn't realize anyone was familiar with my self-published work!

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

You guys, we finally made it - the Fake News Awards are TONIGHT!! Does anyone know what time the Fake Red Carpet co… https://t.co/3KJbeDcJgh

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

Anyone Younger Than Me Is Dumb And Anyone Older Than Me Is Lame: A Novel

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

I feel *so* sorry for straight women right now. Jesus fucking Christ. You very sincerely have my sympathy.

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@Kappa_Kappa pls don't subtweet me

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

ugh being a person right now is fucking exhausting i'm so jealous of my dog

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@sug_knight ❤❤❤❤❤ https://t.co/7t1YCNamtl

@sug_knight ❤❤❤❤❤ https://t.co/7t1YCNamt...

@laurenflans Lauren Flans @laurenflans

@Toddmasterson Todd; it's 2018. No one is straight.

+ Loading...