Male model. Lost every fight I've ever been in. Born to lose. Merica.
13,171 Tweets 1,747,010 Followers 2,097 Followings 16,683 Likes
This is America. We drive trucks. We shoot guns. We eat bacon. We drink beer. We love our country. And we support our Veterans. 🇺🇸
It's been 274 days since Hillary did not become President. And I'm really happy about that. $10 tees at… https://t.co/wQr1tGEUqp
Are you free this weekend? *gazes into distance* *sheds single tear* *bald eagle screeches* I'm always free. Meri… https://t.co/Ovp0LiTYAr
Make America G̶r̶e̶a̶t̶ not a bunch of sissies offended by everything Again. 🇺🇸 FREE koozies here ==>… https://t.co/a3H4FK6vvU
There's a 1776% chance these men stand for the National Anthem. And they will defend your right not to. Merica. https://t.co/d4yZbEelT9
Droppin’ warheads on foreheads. Merica. NEW hoodies at https://t.co/Gx1DQ3sf59 ⚠️LIMITED EDITION⚠️ - https://t.co/A1qY76LS9G
When you reward mediocrity and give kids a trophy just for playin’, you end up with fast food workers who think they deserve $15/hr. Merica.
Since it’s 2017 and apparently there are 1.2 billion genders, I now identify as an Apache attack helicopter. Merica. https://t.co/baRdSiqfZY
It's been 272 days since Hillary Clinton was not sworn in as President of the United States. And I'm still really happy about that. Merica.
Best parts of Fall: - Hoodies - Bonfires - Football - All the mosquitoes die and burn in Hell FREE koozies at… https://t.co/Y4BGTzpscj
If you plant a pumpkin spice latte in the ground, water it with vodka, and play country music around it, a sorority house will grow. Merica.
Here's a complete list of everything you're entitled to, and everything the world owes you. Merica. https://t.co/dBFa7i2jfQ
MadDog Mattis is the GOAT. Merica. https://t.co/EbS2S1ZMrG
1776:"Give me Liberty or give me Death." 2017:"Give me what I want or I'll protest & cry." FREE koozies at… https://t.co/7OOjVDC7LT
Call me old fashioned, but if I have to be drug free to keep my job, maybe y'all should have to be drug free for food stamps and welfare. 🇺🇸
Stay classy. Merica. https://t.co/7d3xFv9jWc
The world is gettin' so sensitive. Pretty soon, I won't even be able to make fun of myself without offendin' somebody. Merica.
Grab a napkin professor. You just got served. Merica. https://t.co/g3dpiREU67
I'm goin' as a Democrat for Halloween. When kids knock, I'll take half their candy to give to kids too lazy to go trick-or-treatin'. Merica.
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