(lots of farting noises)
H. Fox @cctapwater
A dollop of KY Jelly
1 days ago / 0 RT / 0 Likes
Inability to focus during tic tac toe games.
1 days ago / 0 RT / 1 Likes
Severed pinky toes
Instead of turkey bacon, they do bacon turkey instead
A chain link
Michonne of the Dead (see what I did there, zombied a zombie movie) #TWD
1 days ago / 0 RT / 2 Likes
Tampons, but cut up into small pieces like they do with the sausages
#IfICouldDoAnythingId do what Meatloaf couldn't do for love.
Mel Gibson + whiskey
1 days ago / 1 RT / 2 Likes
Aroma of Garbage Juice
#ICouldUseSome p***y... I mean female companionship. Hell, a light hug would do.
2 days ago / 0 RT / 0 Likes
2 days ago / 0 RT / 1 Likes
Intro to Incontinence
@MeatSauce1 @KarlTowns Watching him play isn't the same as playing with him. https://t.co/ZBGKi3CGAs
@1500ESPN KAT might be deserving by year's end, but doubt he'll finish higher than 3rd in voting. I'd give the… https://t.co/LrSXTHgrZe
#IfItWerentForDogs sniffing each others butts would be every person's job. Actually I think we should do that anyway.
I promise to fix everything I fucked up the 1st time around
I will not buy your insurance until you stop using the triangle solo commercial. It's so damn annoying you don't deserve my $.
3 days ago / 0 RT / 0 Likes
@Variety It's better than 'Solo: A Shower Story'
Is something wrong with EJ on @NBAonTNT? He looks worn out already & it's opening night. This isn't me joking, He's good at what he does.
#Bigfoot might be the world's greatest assassin. After decades of searching we still haven't caught him or know what he looks like for sure.
@MeatSauce1 damn NoDaks come to MN & screw up our parking lots. Did they think the line was for the center of their… https://t.co/Cm9cOvLXFZ
@BEATFACEHONEY If your makeup looks like a thin coat of acrylic paint, should you feel shame. There's more importan… https://t.co/eoHQvuZ9TN
3 days ago / 0 RT / 6 Likes
@netflix do your duty to the USA & pick up @BloodDriveSYFY for another season. You could make it even more depraved. #RenewBloodDrive
4 days ago / 0 RT / 0 Likes
For my Halloween costume this year I'm going as "I'm board". Just going to hang a piece of 2x4 around my neck. #halloweencostume
#ItsBestIfYou think it's better than good
@SBNationGIF @SBNation I thought he was the still using a flip phone guy.
@nickkroll Do you get a B from looking at his A?